“Oh, GODS, you CAME ON MOMMY!” I yelled and jumped back.The one spurt didn’t amount to more than a large raindrop, but my heart raced to flee his storm. “Get away from me!” I yelled at him.“Ain’t it neat, Mom?” My son glowed from pride. “I can make babies!”A week later, Asshat, the head librarian, my boss, asked me to resign. “You’re damnably hit and miss, Ingrid.” He scowled with all the crags and crannies of a man at the age of retirement. “Most days you work just fine, well, tolerable. But you messed up two orders this week, worse than what you did a couple months ago.”“I’m sorry, Mr. Vertus. I’m not perfect. My home life-”“Don’t give excuses. Give me two wheeeeks notice,” Asshat wheezed. “And spend those two weeks training Claire. She may not be as precise, but she’s more reliable.” He wanted me to hate my henchling and mis-train her. So he could fire her too. Asshat wanted the library to himself on the day he retired. That was the story Claire and I had made up.“I’ll do better,. See, in highschool I could be sort of bi-polar, not in the sense of emotion, but rather in action. I was always a little erratic. Kind of shy most of the time, then once in a while I'd surprise myself, and even more so, my friends.For example, I once came up with the idea of sneaking four of my friends into the spa at this brand spanking new way, way private resort at the edge of town. Not only did I create the idea, but I went so far as to employ it. It started when I walked over to a family who was staying at the resort. I noticed their car license plate. Utah. (I'd been to Park City, UT once for a theater festival at their Junior Highschool) I went up the guy while my friends waited at the street out front, and said, "Hey. You're from Utah?! What part?" The guy replied, Salt Lake. It was a miss, but not by far. Park City's approximately 25 miles from there. It gave me a little to go on."Wow," I said. "What are the odds? My family's staying over there," I said, pointing to nowhere.
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